


To Love a Woman

by wordywarrior



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordywarrior/pseuds/wordywarrior
Summary: For: @tilltheendwilliwriteThe 6k T Shows Her Age Song ChallengeSong: Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman / Bryan AdamsPairing: Steve/Female ReaderWord Count: 3,342Warnings: Feels that got completely out of hand; swearing; angst.





	To Love a Woman

**Author's Note:**

> For: @tilltheendwilliwrite  
> The 6k T Shows Her Age Song Challenge  
> Song: Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman / Bryan Adams   
> Pairing: Steve/Female Reader  
> Word Count: 3,342  
> Warnings: Feels that got completely out of hand; swearing; angst.

__**To really love a woman, to understand her,  
You got to know her deep inside.  
Hear every thought, see every dream,   
And give her wings when she wants to fly.  
Then, when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms,   
You know you really love a woman.**

“You want to tell me what happened last night?”

Steve paused at the threshold to his son’s room and felt his heart and fists clench up tight. Holding his breath and listening hard, he waited for his son to do what he always did when things got to be a bit too much – shut down and shut his mother out – but this time, he didn’t. Instead, the seventeen-year-old let out a sound akin to pain, and when he spoke again, his voice cracked.

“Jess was so wasted at the party, mom,” he sobbed. “And I didn’t want my first time with her to be like that, so, I told her no. I made sure she got home safe, but she was so mad…”

“You did the right thing,” she insisted gently. “She isn’t grateful for at this moment, but some day, I promise you – I _promise you_ – she will be.”

James grunted and shrugged his shoulders, “I doubt it.”

“Why?”

“Because she dumped me. She dumped me and she hates me.”

Steve maneuvered slightly so he could look at James and his mother, and what he saw made his chest constrict even more. The two of them were sitting on the bed side-by-side, and when she reached out to hold him, he laid down, curled up on his side, and rested his head in her lap. Y/N – his beautiful, fierce wife – did what she always did when their boy needed comfort; she smiled, told him everything was going to be okay, and slowly stroked his hair.

“You’ve been together for two years – what’s between you won’t go away overnight.”

“I wish it would.”

She smirked and let out a light, knowing chuckle, “Listen, kid – when your dad and I first got together… Well, we went through some serious shit, and we screwed up _a lot_. Like, royally screwed the fucked up.”

Steve grinned and shook his head. Y/N’s crass words were calculated and did what she wanted them to do – they made James laugh. It was the kind of laugh you let out after you’d been crying too hard for too long and needed to feel something else for a moment, and after he quieted, she continued.

“Your dad and I fought sometimes – hell, we still fight sometimes. We’ve both said and done hurtful things, but that doesn’t mean we ever stop loving each other,” Y/N told him. “You and Jess argued, but that doesn’t change how you feel – it doesn’t stop you from caring, does it?”

“No,” James admitted. “But I didn’t think it would hurt like this.”

Steve watched and listened for a while longer, and though he didn’t think it was possible, he fell in love with his wife even more. When a soft buzzing filled the air, he saw his son reach into his pocket, pull out his phone, and glance at the screen.

“It’s her,” he muttered, sitting up and rubbing his face. “What do I say?”

“Say what you feel,” she replied simply. “Who knows – maybe you two will make up and get back together? And if not? Well, Buck and Nat can always make her death look like an accident.”

James nudged her shoulder with his and rolled his eyes, “Geeze, mom _, seriously?!_ ”

She grinned cheekily and gave him a hard kiss on the forehead, “Love you, kid.”

James laughed and waved her away, “Love you, too, ya’ psycho.” _  
_

****_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s really wanted._  
_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s the one._  
_Because she needs somebody to tell her that it’s going to last forever.  
_ _So, tell me, have you ever really – really, really ever loved a woman?_ __  


_Ten Years Later…_

“Did you just fucking shush me?” Y/N snapped.

“We really need to have a talk about that mouth of yours,” Steve muttered.

Natasha snorted and shook her head, “Geeze, you’re such an old, married couple.”

Y/N scoffed and rolled her eyes, “And you and Bucky aren’t?”

Choosing to ignore both of them, Steve looked up, and called out to his best friend, “How’s our boy looking, Buck?”

“Nervous,” was his reply from the tree above them. “Now, both of you, shut up, and let Nat and I concentrate.”

Steve reached for Y/N’s hand and held it tightly. They were both excited and worried, and when Bucky called out, ‘target in sight,’ they sighed simultaneously, and turned their attention toward their son.

The sun was setting over the park, casting the sky in beautiful, glowing hues of pink, yellow, and purple. It was autumn, which meant the air was crisp, the leaves were changing, and the setting was perfect. They couldn’t hear anything, but they could see everything; James’s expression was a mixture of hopeful and wary, and Jessica’s was full of confusion and wonderment. Then, James said something that made her burst out laughing, and when he went down on one knee, she began nodding and crying.

James had done as his mother advised him to do all those years ago, and the next day, he and Jess got back together, and hadn’t parted since. Steve never imagined he’d have a family of his own, much less experience a moment like this, and seeing his son so happy and in love made all the sacrifices worth it.

Bucky hopped down from the tree and both he and Natasha showed them the photos. After they took turns looking, they agreed to meet at the restaurant in an hour for the engagement party. Once the cameras were put away, Steve reached for Y/N’s hand again, and they began walking toward the street.

“You remember when you proposed?” she asked as they climbed into the SUV.

“I recall it not being nearly as romantic, but yes, I remember.”

Y/N reached for his hand and brought it to her cheek, “I thought it was fuckin’ hot.”

As she began to remind him of some of the more sordid details, expletives included, he let out a low growl, and turned in his seat to face her.

“Still have a problem with my mouth, Cap?” she quipped, taking his thumb between her teeth and biting down none-too-gently.

“Not at all,” he rasped, cupping the back of her neck and pulling her forward. “Now, bring it over here so I can kiss it.” _  
_

****_To really love a woman, let her hold you,_  
_Until you know how she needs to be touched._  
_You’ve got to breathe her; really taste her,_  
Until you can feel her in your blood.  
_And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes…  
_ _You know you really love a woman._

“Pregnant!”

As that word – a word he hadn’t heard his wife say in almost 40 years – rang through the air, Steve choked on his coffee, which made Bucky laugh uproariously.

“I’m too old,” he insisted. “She can’t… I mean – I didn’t… It’s not possible.”

Natasha shrugged and blew across the top of her mug, “You sure about that?”

When he blanched, Bucky clapped a hand on his shoulder, and nodded his head toward the kitchen, “I think your wife might be talking about your daughter-in-law?”

Steve turned to see Y/N sliding across the hard-wooden floor in her socks; her flannel robe flew behind her like a cape and she was brandishing her phone. When she began waving it in his face, he patted the pockets of his shirt, and pulled out his glasses. As soon as he had them on, James and Jessica came into focus, and when he realized they were on Face-Time, he grinned broadly and waved.

“Twins,” Y/N whispered before kissing the top of his head and scurrying away.

“Congratulations, both of you,” he called out.

Bucky poked his head over Steve’s shoulder, “More Rogers babies – just what the world needs.”

Natasha also scooted in and lifted her mug in salute, “I hope you two know what you’re in for!”

James beamed at Jessica and nodded, “You guys are going to be the God-parents, so, you better start getting ready for double the fun!”

When the four of them all began to talk over each other, Steve handed the phone off to Bucky, and went in search of his wife. He found her standing in the kitchen, looking out at the falling snow, and when the sun shone out from behind the trees, it caught the streaks of silver in her hair. He knew what she was thinking and how she was feeling, and it made his heart hurt.

Steve stood behind her and opened his arms, “Come here to me, darlin’.”

When she immediately turned and embraced him, he wrapped her up tight, and closed his eyes. His wife was stronger than anyone he’d ever known, and even when she cried, she did so with dignity. Steve knew the tears were a mixture of joy and sadness, and that all she wanted was for him to hold her and let her get it out.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you–”

“Stop that right now,” he interjected firmly, crooking his finger beneath her chin and forcing her to meet his eyes. “You’ve given me everything I ever wanted and then some. And I’m more in love with you in this moment than I was five minutes ago.”

Y/N wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robe and let out a shaky laugh, “What the hell are we going to do with two grandbabies?”

“Love them and spoil them rotten,” Steve asserted. “Think we can manage it?”

Y/N nodded and rested her head on his shoulder, “Yeah, I think we can do that.”

****_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s really wanted._  
_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s the one.  
_ _Because she needs somebody to tell her that it’s going to last forever.  
_ _So, tell me, have you ever really – really, really ever loved a woman?_

“Y/N, come on,” Steve prompted.

She jerked to attention and yawned, “Is it time?”

He nodded and kissed her forehead, “Doctor says any minute.”

James had called them in the middle of the night and said he and Jessica were on the way to the hospital. When Y/N and Steve arrived, the nurse explained even though Jessica was a week early and labor was slow, it was progressing normally, and both mother and babies were doing fine.

It had been almost twelve hours since then and neither of them had slept. They were both blurry-eyed and choking down coffee in an attempt to stay awake. When the nurse said it was finally starting, they hastily made their way to the delivery room, and when they arrived, another nurse was placing a sheet over Jessica’s knees, and the doctor was pulling up a stool.

Steve went to step inside, but was brought up short by Y/N tugging his hand. She’d stopped just outside the threshold and wasn’t budging. Her entire body had gone still, and when he squeezed her hand, she didn’t even respond. The thousand-yard stare was typically reserved for soldiers and veterans, but Steve knew it when he saw it. Y/N had never been in a war, but she’d experienced trauma, and Steve didn’t doubt the sight in front of her had brought it all rushing back.

“Mom?” James called, looking over his shoulder for her. “Mom, we need you! Mom!”

The sound of her son’s frantic voice brought her back to the present moment and immediately galvanized her. Y/N entered the room without any further hesitation and rushed to the bedside.

“These babies are ready to meet their parents,” Y/N murmured, taking Jessica’s hand in her own and holding it tight. “Are you going to keep them waiting?”

Whatever words Jessica would have said were cut off by another contraction and both Y/N and the nurse began coaching. The first baby came into the world kicking and screaming, and the second followed soon after with the same amount of fanfare. The were placed on their mother’s chest, and James was asked if he wanted to cut the cords. Jessica was crying and laughing and James was staring at both his wife and newborn sons in absolute awe.

“You’re a daddy,” Jessica whispered, looking up at James and smiling.

“You’re a mommy,” he replied softly, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

Steve moved to stand behind Y/N and rested his hands on her shoulders, “Darlin’…”

“I know,” she murmured, placing her hands over his. “I know.” _  
_

****_You’ve got to give her some faith. Hold her tight._  
_A little tenderness; got to treat her right._  
_She will be there for you, taking good care of you._  
_You really got to love your woman.  
_ _Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms…  
_ _You know you really love a woman._

James threw up his hands and began pacing, “They’re my kids, too, damn it! She has no fucking right to keep them from me like this!”

Steve jerked his head up from his paper and glared, “Watch it, son.”

“Really?” he snarled back. “Thanks for the scolding, _Captain._ Real _fucking_ helpful.”

When Steve got to his feet and James took a step forward, Y/N placed herself between them, and held up her hands. Steve was never one to back down, and James was truly the epitome of his father, which meant the two of them glared at each other over her head for a good long while, and it took the pattering of feet and soft giggles to deflate them.

“Daddy!”

James immediately turned and lowered himself to his knees. When he opened his arms, his sons let out matching squeals of excitement, and ran right toward him. Both their faces were full of delight until their mother called for them to come to her.

“Grant, Clint,” she commanded. “It’s bath time.”

“Jess, please,” James begged, hugging them tighter. “Just let me hold them for a minute.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and averted her gaze. James tried to convince Jessica to let him take their sons home for the night, but she refused, and said he was disrupting their routine.

Grant sniffled and chewed on his finger, “Are you and mommy fighting?”

“Are you sad, daddy?” Clint asked.

The questions hung in the air for a long time before Y/N cleared her throat and broke the silence, “Boys, how about we get a bath, then, eat lots of cookies, and watch a movie. Yeah?”

The twins cheered at the idea, and before James could object, Jess scooped them both up, and took them away. Y/N kissed James’ cheek before turning to her husband and telling him to talk some sense into their son.

“You fix this,” she bit out quietly. “Right now.”

Steve nodded and pressed his lips to her forehead, “Okay, darlin’.”

As soon as Jess, the boys, and Y/N disappeared, James stood tall, and let out a curse.

“You do realize none of this is about you, right?” Steve asked bluntly. “That it’s never going to be about you, or how you feel, or what you want?”

James groaned and stared up at the ceiling, “Dad, seriously–”

“Do you even love your wife?” he interjected. “Because if you do, you shouldn’t have let her walk out.”

“What was I supposed to do?” James retorted. “Beg her to stay?”

Steve jutted a finger at him, “Yes, you beg. You set aside whatever bullshit pride you have and you beg her not to go. You beg her because you love her and she’s the mother of your children.”

“Don’t act like you know what this is like,” he snarled between clenched teeth. “Mom never left you. She never took me away from you. You don’t know what it’s like to lose your wife and kids!”

“I lost four before you were born,” Steve rasped, his voice catching as his throat closed up. “Your mother may not have left, but I knew there were days she wanted to, and I didn’t let her. I didn’t let her because she is the beating heart in my chest, and even after all these years, I still can’t believe she chose me.”

“Are you saying Jess chose wrong?” he choked out.

Steve placed his hands on his son’s shoulders and shook his head, “No, James, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying Jessica chose you, and if you don’t get it together, you’re going to lose her, and your boys. Do you want that?”

James shook his head frantically, “No.”

“Then, you go in there, and send your mom out,” Steve insisted. “Spend time with your kids and talk to your wife. And don’t leave this house again without her and those boys beside you, you got it?”

As soon as James agreed, Steve hugged him hard, and patted his back, “I love you, kid.”

“Love you, too, dad.” _  
_

****_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s really wanted._  
_When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s the one.  
_ _Because she needs somebody to tell her that it’s going to last forever.  
_ _So, tell me, have you ever really – really, really ever loved a woman?_

Hundreds of people attended the funeral and even more were at the gravesite. Afterward, the house had been opened up to family and friends, and though his wife and his four children were by his side, he couldn’t help but feel adrift.

James knew he should’ve been grateful his parents had lived as long as they did and that they’d touched so many lives. He should have been happy neither of them had been taken by tragedy or illness. He should have been relieved when doctors said they both went peacefully, without pain, and within minutes of each other.

But he didn’t feel any of those things because all he could feel was sorrow. He’d talked to them every, single day, and now, he’d never hear their voices again. The feeling of loss was so glaringly acute and he didn’t know what to do.

“Never could let her go anywhere by herself,” Bucky stated, his eyes fixated on the portrait of his parents, Natasha, and him that hung on the wall.

James sighed and shook his head, “I think it was more than that.”

Bucky nodded knowingly, “He always said wherever she went, he’d follow, and you know he was a man of his word.”

Before he could say anything more, Natasha entered the room, forced a plate in his hand, and told him to sit down. She and Bucky hovered nearby, and took turns distracting the children and watching him as he choked down food he didn’t really want to eat. His stomach churned and hurt, and when Jessica came in, holding their infant daughter in his arms, the tears he’d kept so carefully in check finally fell.

“James,” she whispered, taking a seat beside him. “I’m here, okay? I’m right here.”

He let out a ragged breath, wrapped his arm around Jess, and gently stroked his daughter’s hair. They’d named her after his mother, and though his daughter would never know her grandparents, he somehow felt as if they were both in the room, watching over them.

Clint, Grant, and Edward filed in moments later, and the constricting sensation he’d felt in his chest lessened. After making a silent vow to never take any of it for granted, James kissed his wife, hugged his boys, and took his daughter into his arms.

“I love you,” Jessica told him quietly.

Finding solace in her words, James pressed his forehead to hers, and smiled, “I love you, too.”

_**Just tell me have you ever really – really, really ever loved a woman?** _


End file.
